Is your life a very valuable, colourful experience, or does it always have shades of gray or maybe even black? At some point in our lives we may feel helpless, depressed, aimless or desperate. Most of the time, we have friends, family or colleagues who give us a hand and support us when it comes to dealing with darker thoughts and prevent us from some disastrous outcomes. But there are times of frustration when no one can rescue us. We fall down so deeply that nobody can reach us, and in that dead end, in a scenario where we have no way out, or at least this is what we think, we choose an unthinkable way to end our life.
WHO estimates that 800,000 people die every year worldwide of their own free will. It’s a huge number. Of course there are a lot of reasons and we cannot underestimate any of them, but is there any common pattern between them? Did they all have a difficult Bazi chart, did they all experience difficult times or unfavourable Luck Pillars?
The charts below are of people who for some reason drastically ended their lives and were famous during their lifetime. Fame may not be the only common point. Most of the time there are other reasons such as debts, emotional or health problems, social or family pressures, difficult relationships and many more.
Kurt Cobain Feb 20, 1967 (19:38)
Kurt Cobain (February 20, 1967 – April 5, 1994) was the lead singer and guitarist of the American rock band Nirvana, one of the most influential acts of the 1990s and one of the best-selling bands of all time. Throughout most of his life, Cobain suffered from chronic bronchitis and intense pain due to an undiagnosed chronic stomach condition. He was also prone to alcoholism, suffered from depression, and regularly used drugs and inhalants.
On April 8, 1994, Kurt Cobain, was found dead, by gunshot at his home in Seattle, Washington.
Cobain had two uncles who killed themselves using guns.
(Wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt Cobain)
Ernest Hemingway Jul 21, 1899 (08:00)
Ernest Miller Hemingway (July 21, 1899 – July 2, 1961) was an American novelist, short-story writer, and journalist.
The Old Man and the Sea became a book-of-the-month selection, made Hemingway an international celebrity, and won the Pulitzer Prize in May 1953. In October 1954, Hemingway received the Nobel Prize in Literature.
Hemingway’s behaviour during his final years had been similar to that of his father before he killed himself. His father may have had hereditary hemochromatosis, whereby the excessive accumulation of iron in tissues culminates in mental and physical deterioration. Medical records made available in 1991 confirmed that Hemingway had been diagnosed with hemochromatosis in early 1961. His sister Ursula and his brother Leicester also killed themselves. Hemingway’s health was further complicated by heavy drinking throughout most of his life.
(Wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Hemingway)
Vincent Van Gogh Mar 30, 1853 (11:00)
Vincent Willem van Gogh (30 March 1853 – 29 July 1890) was a Dutch Post-Impressionist painter who is among the most famous and influential figures in the history of Western art.
Van Gogh suffered from psychotic episodes and delusions. Though he worried about his mental stability, he often neglected his physical health, did not eat properly and drank heavily.
His depression persisted, and on 27 July 1890, Van Gogh is believed to have shot himself in the chest with a revolver, dying from his injuries two days later.
Van Gogh became famous after his suicide at age 37, which followed years of poverty and mental illness.
(Wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Van_Gogh)
Robin Williams Jul 21, 1951 (13:34)
Robin McLaurin Williams (July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014) was an American actor and comedian known for his improvisational skills. He received numerous accolades including an Academy Award, two Primetime Emmy Awards, six Golden Globe Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, and five Grammy Awards.
Williams was found dead at his home in Paradise Cay, California, in August 2014, at the age of 63. His death was ruled a suicide. He had been experiencing depression, anxiety, and increasing paranoia.
(Wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams)
Avicii (Tim Bergling) Sep 8, 1989
Tim Bergling (8 September 1989 – 20 April 2018), known professionally as Avicii, was a Swedish DJ, remixer, and music producer.
Bergling retired from touring in 2016, after several years of stress and poor mental health. On 20 April 2018, he died by suicide while on holiday in Muscat, Oman.
On 26 April, his family released an open letter stating:
Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul searching for answers to existential questions. An over-achieving perfectionist who travelled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress. When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be able to be happy and to do what he loved most – music. He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness. He could now not go on any longer. He wanted to find peace. Tim was not made for the business machine he found himself in; he was a sensitive guy who loved his fans but shunned the spotlight. Tim, you will forever be loved and sadly missed. The person you were and your music will keep your memory alive. We love you, The Family
(Wikipedia.org/wiki/Avicii)
This is to show how the non-acceptance of a certain situation, be it the fall after reaching the peak in our life or because life no longer makes sense after a loss or the appearance of a disease, can cause big damage. It’s hard to let go.
Giving up on our life is consciously choosing to end our life by running away from something. No matter what this is, we are actually running away from it.
I learned this: “what you die with, you will live with”.
It means that – if you believe in next life – if you die running from something, your next life you will bring the same thing to continue your supposed mission. So, it’s useless! Why would we do that? This is postponing the inevitable. If we do that we have to come back life after life from the very beginning and do everything again, from learning how to walk to going to school for example, while still chased by the same thing or situation countless times until one day we wake up from all this and start to face it consciously. Facing it is not running. It is accepting it as real and move on, preferably in peace.
I’m not saying it is easy, just that it is possible.
Embracing everything and every emotion or feelings is the only way to make them go.
So why can’t people accept? If we analyse the reasons we can understand that mostly, people fear the feeling of hopelessness like been cornered and having no way out. Why fear?
If you give something dangerous to a child what happen will be obvious. The child will take it to their mouth, because there is no prior knowledge about the danger. In a same way people only fear something if they know or had a bad experience about that in the past, a memory. We always want to avoid something unpleasant and the greater the suffering, the greater the fear. Then we run away in every way possible.
When things are going in a way we know that is possibly not favourable just because we already know the outcome, it will trigger a bad feeling, the non-acceptance. We don’t want to suffer again.
I picked up those charts in a random way but I found out that they all have Punishment Formation plus Destruction Formation in some cases. It doesn’t mean that if you have Punishment in your chart you will do the same thing, not at all. By having Destruction or other Punishments Formations we can be aware of these possibilities.
Just to recap the meaning of these Formations: (Combinations)
Destructions happen when two particular branches are side-by-side in the natal chart or when it arrives through the Luck or Annual Pillar. The outcome is a feeling like someone is trap in a situation that leaves no choices causing damaging consequences in the future.
Bullying Punishment involves three (at least two) particular branches (Sheep-Dog-Ox) inside the chart or coming from Luck and Annual Pillars and indicates situations when we are helpless or cornered and can’t do anything to prevent. The main issue is about relationships and legal problems, lawsuits, bickering, gossiping and backstabbing.
Ungrateful Punishment involves Monkey-Snake-Tiger branches (at least two) inside the chart or coming from Luck and Annual Pillars and means betrayal. People help others and in return, get themselves in trouble. It can also involve accidents, illness or injuries and will also affect the relationships with family.
[If you are not familiar to the meaning of the eight characters of the charts, you can search them in ‘Cheat Sheets’]
Doubting that everyone who has chosen the same path has the same formations on their natal chart, I have researched a few more cases:
*Naomi Judd January 11, 1946 (18:45) – April 30, 2022
*John MacAfee September 18, 1945 – June 23, 2021
*Steve Bing March 31, 1965 – June 22, 2020
*Anthony Bourdain June 25, 1956 – June 8, 2018
*Chester Bennington March 20, 1976 – July 20, 2017
*Chris Cornell July 20, 1964 – May 18, 2017
*Leslie Cheung September 12, 1956 – April 1, 2003
In two of their charts I found a Bullying Formation but in the others I found others Formations such as Self Punishment, Uncivilised Punishment, other Destruction Formation, Clashes or even more than one of them. This makes me believe that it’s in their destiny to go through these difficulties in order to resolve them. Most of the time we need several lives in order to accomplish it, but we will.
Now, what if I tell you that we have planned everything just before we are born, such as which country, what era, our parents, siblings, friends, our personality, the mission in that life and so on and that we only die in the right time we chose? It sounds crazy? Give it a chance. Perhaps nothing happens against our will as a soul. We know why we have to go through difficult times, having difficult relationships and also why and when we feel good and happy with wonderful moments. I found this way of thinking quite good to explain my life. Certain situations don’t make sense to me but they can serve a greater cause. That’s why they happen. All I have to do is to agree, or not. If I agree and accept, things keep flowing, but if I don’t agree, life will find another way and things will happen again or worst.
How do we accept something, particularly if it’s unfair, threatening, disrespectful, dangerous, against our principles or false?
Imagine that a situation needs to happen. I can do nothing against the universe. In fact, I remember from my physics lessons that ‘nothing is static’. So we have to move forward with the universe and if we fall behind, we enter a process of self-destruction. So I follow evolution. It doesn’t mean that I have to accept things that hurt me, but forgive the people who do that. They may have reasons I don’t know or won’t understand. By forgiving and not harbouring resentment, bitterness and anger, I won’t try to take revenge either, which might not have good consequences and I’d also lose any reason I had. Of course, all of this requires of us a great capacity to love, to love unconditionally and to be at peace with ourselves and others.
When it comes to signs of self-destructive behaviour, the first to appear is depression. I believe that we all have depressing situations in our lives. Some are more serious and require medical attention. Others we don’t want to accept and so we ignore them. And that’s where the danger lies. If we don’t know how to prevent it, we can go off the rails. In cases of addiction, the problem can be even more serious.
If you feel depressed, trapped or know someone in this situation, you should ask for help.
I’m no one to give you advice. This is just a tip. Think twice.
First thought: if I go away with my problem from this life, I’ll have to bring it into the next one to solve it. So why not face it in this life. Anything is possible and I may find a way through.
Second thought: when I leave, I’ll only be free for other adventures if I let go of everything that holds me back in this life. This means sorting everything out and the only way is to forgive others and ourselves.
After all we can’t run away from nothing. Everything is as it is for a reason, even when we don’t know or understand what it is. Our life is a consequence of our choices, all of them. If only we could choose better…
I was told that: “What is resisted persists. Only what is accepted can disappear”.
Lifesglance 